Wednesday, September 13, 2006

introducing

introducing fall
in the playground
under the clouds-
colorful piles of jackets
in the lost and found box

1 Comments:

Blogger laryalee said...

Hi Andrew,
I really like the lost jackets connecting with autumn colors!
I haven't been writing much tanka, but doesn't your beginning feel a bit heavy?
I can't help wondering about "autumn leaves" etc. for line 1...could be just me!

:-)
Lary

Tue Sep 19, 09:37:00 pm GMT  

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