Saturday, September 16, 2006

dying ash -
a hummingbird drinks
from sapsucker holes


Blogger Jim Tantillo said...

This is a rewrite from:

a hummingbird
drinks from sapsucker holes
in the dying ash

I've kind of puzzled over this one. The sapsuckers are what's killed the tree. Not sure how to make this one work better ... open to suggestions. :-) thanks.

Thu Sep 21, 03:50:00 pm GMT  
Blogger Gerald England said...


Because I get all comments by email [blog-owners perogative] I read this before the original post -- my first thought was that the ash should precede the hummingbirds -- and on clicking through to the original post found that was indeed the way you'd gone -- personally I'd probably move "from" down to line 3 -- then again I'd possibly try and make the whole thing in one line rather than three.

Fri Sep 22, 05:47:00 am GMT  
Blogger Jim Tantillo said...

thanks Gerald, good point about moving 'from' to the third line. And thanks also for helping me think about this one a bit more.

Sat Sep 23, 02:44:00 pm GMT  

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